This past Saturday at 7:00 pm Eastern standard time, my yoga teacher married Alec Baldwin. I just can't believe MY adorable sassypants yoga teacher married Alec Baldwin. Paparazzi and security hovered the Nolita streets outside St. Patrick’s Basilica church. Nope! I wasn't invited (all of 30 Rock was, along with Lorne Michaels and WOODY ALLEN), but I did partially stalk and enjoy the fanfare, well… maybe more than partially. Still, despite the fun and excitement, I don't think you can be a yogi and marry Alec Baldwin. He doesn't quite seem zen; instead he seems angry and volatile - the opposite of a yogi (even one associated through matrimony). As for her, I didn't know yogis can be sell-outs just like everyone else (aren’t they more in tune with mind/body/soul)... changing their look and their lifestyle for their spouse, for notoriety and money. I kinda don't want to practice yoga anymore; my chi is off.
I wonder if Alec ohms... I bet it's not when he's practicing Vinyasa on University ;). Let's see how long this one lasts - I give it five max with one little Baldwin heir. (Hey---Just like Katie and Tom.) Egomaniacs - maybe not best to marry ‘em but if you do - the huge cash payout won't suck!!
Beauty & Essex
Beauty and Essex, located on the LES, is the nighttime area where I and my pals used to get down - restaurants, hotels, bars and lounges. I used to wear (quite possibly) backless shirts down there. Oy. Tonight, I settled into a comfy cool cotton boho look and we taxied to our old stomping grounds and passed ole watering holes. Beauty was bumping despite our early time reservation. Space is huge including a front storefront where you can buy both new and vintage pieces - think: shoes, clutches, jewels or a whole other modgepodge of what to me seemed useless - signed baseball cards, pez dispensers and Star Wars paraphernalia. Seemed a bit confused but definitely different, kitsch and I longed for the hand crystallized Shay bags (casually starting at $2000) that were to die for. I was secretly hoping that HeView would get drunk enough, forgo our rent dough and diapers.com sheckels and buy me one of these stunners. No dice. Maybe Alec will buy one maybe two for Hilaria. Def more likely.
As we walked into the great room, we were seated immediately in view of a beautiful glass roof and tons of different sorts of people (oldies, nerdy Asian businessmen, hen parties, B&T, dates, etc). The waitstaff are decked in skin tight purple dresses whether they have shelves, rolls or too much ink hanging all out. We ordered cocktails stat, for me the Beauty Elixir and for He some cracked out Arnold Palmer (both refreshing and favorable). The menu is extensive and we decided to pick and share from each section: from the "toasts" a peachy yet spicy ricotta bread (eh). From the raw bar, their signature lobster tacos (looks better than tastes) and these mouth watering spoonfuls (4) of chicken fried oysters (ah-mazing). From the accessories, we ordered both the sweet corn (cool, spicy and refreshing) and truffled onion rings with blue cheese dressing (2 die 4)... And, Lastly, the scallops came - cooked perfectly over a bed of starchy corn risotto. The food came right out - faster than the now Baldwins nuptials. Even after saying slow-it-down, we still were served and cleared in the blink of an eye. Much to my chagrin, this aspect of B&E was unenjoyable, although the physical space/decor (mirrors, pearls, lockets, oh my) rocked along with the tasty food (chef/owner of Stanton Social, which dirty hot waitress said is still "cool") and helped redeem the super speedy slightly offensive service. In and out, at B&E, quite possibly like the celebrity marriages we pry on or people's personas. I probably will return to yoga with my celebrity teacher but Beauty and Essex (I think) has been scratched off my NYC restaurant bucket list! 146 Essex Street | Between Stanton and Rivington (212) 614-0146