This one goes out to Jaye Bird who inspired me to get back on the saddle and start writing again. Here I go… Thanks Jaye!
Mom or not mom. I like Saturday nights to stay sexy. I like to take the time to apply my make-up, pick my outfit out and wear my highest shoes. I want to walk out of my bedroom, out my building and feel sexy as hell strutting down the streets of New York. I want to feel like I’m in, I own it and I can still rock it. I hope I feel this way forever. Not everyday; just Saturday nights.
Kutshers Tribeca opened a week and a ½ ago and is surely the newest kid on the block. Zack Kutsher (manager/part-owner) agrees and calls this one of his two babies (the other is Charlie, his baby boy who resides on the UES - duur). He’s a fourth generation Kutsher - that is of the great Kutsher Country Club that housed and fed thousands in the Catskills for-like-forever and hosted many celebrities and prizefighters alike. When I scanned the menu for Kutshers before going, as we foodies do, I thought it might be difficult for me to order. Truth is, as much as I love restaurants and the overall experience, I’d be lying if I said I was an adventurous eater. BUT, I was super stoked when I read that they offered pigs in a blanket as an app - I do make exceptions and who doesn’t love a pig in a blanket?!
Kutshers is actually down the street from our home, we went casual (think ballet flats) not expecting a hip or chic vibe but were surprised that the ambience was quite cool and the bar was hopping and serving strong specialty cocktails (we had Bug Juice and The Anawana). This might be fun. As we sat down at our perfectly candlelit table, it was hard not to notice the general demographic around us… that being geriatric, obese, and homely Jewish folk. These folks were engulfing large plates of food messily and had no regard for the sexiness of Saturday night. Now, I know that if I was at 2nd Ave Deli or Katz’s (to provide examples) this would be expected and I’d be in my converse kicks and taking it all in (casual, myself). But this place’s gimmick is an upscale Jewish American Bistro and unfortunately, not all of the patrons at Kutshers Tribeca agree. They came to eat their faces off! Like you would at any Jewish deli. We ordered our appetizers - some Pigs in a Blanket (really a long dog covered with crescent dough), uniquely stuffed Knishes (some with pastrami and the other veggie and cheese), some funky sour creamy Meatballs and this tartare of Gefilte Fish that quite frankly, scared me. As I was dipping my fork into a little of everything, I felt my waistband expanding, my lip-gloss fading and every ounce of sexy depleting from my body. Even the strong specialty drinks that I was wolfing down were not helping me regain this desired Saturday night feeling. The Kreplach and a forkful of the gents’ black ‘n white ice cream sandwich sealed the deal. Tonight felt more like a lazy, lethargic, fatass Sunday then a seductress Saturday. I will not be returning, especially on a Saturday evening. 186 Franklin Street | between Greenwich Street and Hudson Street (212) 431-0606