I enjoy cocktails. No beating around the bush – a glass of wine, a vodka drink, a dirty martini, a scotch or a special of the house… they all sound delicious. So obviously, when one is in the Hamptons and having fun in the sun (meaning wine and sangria during the day and liquor at night), a partner in crime is good too. Here’s to you pahdna and Happy Birthday!
Beaumarchais. Fancy name. Fancy address. A reservation here means securing a babysitter and having a civilized dinner in a nice restaurant right? If that’s the direction you’re thinking in, try taking a step back and putting on jeans, some carefully placed ink and a crumpled v-neck if you’re a dude and a micro mini that does not cover your caboose if you’re a gal. Yup, welcome to da club. Luckily, our crewsome of four caught ourselves covered both ways by showing up as adults, but adults who’d been drinking for a few solid hours pre-arrival (well, at least the dudes were). Once seated, if you happen to be a married couple who enjoys people watching other married types while enjoying good food at a restaurant, welcome to a complete change-of-pace delight as you gawk at young, too young and early-20’s carefree revelers parade by in a stream of random hookups from your youth, most likely (we think) caused by déjà vu. Lil View is not allowed on the premises until 2042. The menu is pretty simple and straightforward with 3-4 salads, a few appetizers, couple of pastas and a few fish and beef entrees. We decided to start with the Burrata, which has to be good because all cheese is delicious, and the Truffled Ravioli, which has to be good because all pasta is delicious. Well, turns out the cheese guy was downstairs in the kitchen bathroom and the sous chef was staring at the 20-somethings instead of cooking the ravioli, because we were wrong on both counts. Stiff Burrata and cold Ravioli. At this point you should just go with the flow and (a) order more vodka, and (b) order more bad food, because it’s fun! For mains, we ordered one Scallops, one Nicoise with no tuna, one Filet medium rare and one Steak Frites medium. The Nicoise, while obviously not a true Nicoise since it had no tuna, was not remotely enjoyed by its owner (and preggers deserved a good meal!), while the Scallops were rejected by SheView’s distinguished scallop palate. The steaks were good for a bite or two, but that joy quickly dissipated as we got into the meaty part of the meat. Truth be told, the fries were very good – maybe they were flown in? The end result of the evening had two of us with plenty of drinks being drunk and staying for a bit to make sure the kitchen closed down ok, but not until we had the ridiculous and obnoxious dessert served in a giant sundae glass with a sparkler. In a restaurant like this where the kitchen serves less utility than the bar and the crowd, the most you can hope to leave with is a couple of shekels in your pocket and less of a stomachache than the hangover you know you’ll have the next day. 44 Three Mile Harbor Road | East Hampton (212) 675-2400